Reclaiming "resilience"

Since the pandemic, resilience has almost become a “dirty word” in some organisations, where it’s been used to suggest that people simply aren’t “tough enough” rather than addressing unrealistic workloads, poor culture or lack of support.

I still believe resilience is a powerful and helpful concept – when we use it properly and ethically. So let’s reclaim it.

What do we really mean by resilience?

For me, resilience is the ability to adapt, recover and keep going in the face of difficulty, while managing our emotions in a healthy way. It is not about putting up with anything and everything, or endlessly “toughing it out” at work. It is about flexing and adjusting to life’s disruptions, drawing on our inner and outer resources, and knowing when we need support or change.

We see resilience in nature all the time: the tree that bends in strong winds rather than snapping, the plant that finds a way to grow through concrete. Resilience is not about being rigid and unbreakable; it is about being flexible and rooted.

The problem comes when resilience is framed as an individual fix for systemic problems. Too many people have been told to “be more resilient” when what is really needed is better leadership, workload management, psychological safety or fairer policies. Sending people on a resilience course and then changing nothing else is not resilience – it's avoidance.

So when I talk about resilience, I am not talking about putting responsibility on individuals to cope with unhealthy situations. I am talking about building your personal capacity to navigate life’s ups and downs, alongside the very real need for compassionate, healthy cultures and systems.

Why resilience matters now more than ever

Increased pressures, uncertainty, lack of control, change and isolation all take a toll. Our strength and resilience can feel stretched beyond recognition. Some days you might feel on top of everything; on others, a single email, news story or family worry can knock you off balance and leave you feeling wobbly, anxious or overwhelmed.

Why do some people seem more able to navigate turbulent times than others? Just like a muscle in our body, resilience is something we can strengthen and improve. There has never been a better time to work on our resilience “muscles” than in a world of constant change, digital fatigue and relentless organisational pressure.

The resilience wheel

Research over many years has identified key areas that can have a positive or negative impact on our personal resilience. The “resilience wheel” (adapted from Beyond Coaching and Julie Hickton) highlights these areas:

Perspective – How good are you at seeing things from another perspective and reframing challenges?

Support / Connection – How effective are you at supporting yourself, being your own best friend? How connected are you to others, and how willing are you to ask for and offer support?

Optimism – Are you generally a “glass half full” or “glass half empty” person? Realistic optimism – acknowledging difficulties while still seeing possibilities – is closely linked with resilience.

Energy management – How good are you at managing your own energy levels, including rest, sleep and recovery, not just time and tasks?

Emotional self-control – How effective are you at managing your emotions? Do you tend to lose your temper, shut down, or can you notice and regulate your feelings?

Humour – How often are you able to see the light side of things or use humour appropriately to defuse tension and reconnect with others?

Self-efficacy – How much control do you feel you have in your life to make your own choices at work or at home? A healthy sense of agency is strongly linked with resilience and reduced burnout.

Notice that none of these domains are about “putting up with anything” or tolerating harmful behaviour. They are about how you think, feel, connect, recover and make choices – and they sit alongside, not instead of, the need for healthy workplaces and communities.

Everyday ways to build resilience

Here are some simple tips and techniques you can experiment with. In brackets, I’ve included which areas of resilience they can support:

• Take deep breaths (emotional self-control / energy management) – Slow, deep breathing activates the body’s calming response and helps you respond intentionally rather than react automatically.

  
  

• Acknowledge and name your emotions (emotional self-control) – Labelling what you feel helps the brain process it and reduces intensity.

  
  

• Connect with nature – go for a walk, even for 10 minutes (energy management / perspective).

  
  

• Listen to music or a podcast that uplifts or soothes you (energy management / humour).

  
  

• Do some physical exercise, enough to get slightly out of breath (energy management / emotional self-control).

  
  

• Remember a time when you were resilient in the past. What did you do then that could help you now? (perspective)

  
  

• Notice what others do to stay steady under pressure. Is there one thing you could try for yourself? (perspective)

  
  

• Connect with others – organise a call, walk, coffee or online catch‑up (support / connection / humour).

  
  

• Take time off to recharge, even in small pockets – an evening off screens, a slow morning, a proper lunch break (energy management).

  
  

• Enjoy a hot bath or shower as a deliberate reset (energy management).

  
  

• Start a gratitude journal – write three positive things that happen each day, however small (perspective / optimism).

  
  

• Be your own best friend – notice your inner dialogue and practise speaking to yourself as kindly as you would to someone you care about (support / perspective).

  
  

• Focus on what you can control, not what you can’t (self‑efficacy). This might include your boundaries, routines, how you respond, and when you ask for help.

  
  

• Practise meditation or mindfulness, even for a few minutes a day (perspective / emotional self‑control).

  
  

• Develop and keep to a simple, sustainable routine that supports your energy, focus and relationships (self‑efficacy / energy management).

These are like simple “workout” tips to help strengthen your resilience muscles. Use as a pick and mix, choose the ones that you're drawn to. As with any new exercise regime, they only make a difference when we do them regularly and consistently. And importantly, building your resilience does not mean tolerating the intolerable. Sometimes the most resilient act is to say no, raise a concern, or choose a different path.

What is one small change you could experiment with this week to strengthen your resilience muscles?